With so many straight to TV Christmas “films” being churned out year after year, it must be getting even harder to come up with a title which is both relevant and original. By 2014, we’ve given up on originality, as is clear from the title of this film. I can confirm there is both an ornament in this film, and an angel, so we’re good.

Specifically, heroine Corinne uses the one ornament on her crappy naked tree to wish for love, and an angel arrives to help her achieve that very specific wish. Whereas in most angels gain their wings once they’ve accomplished a heavenly deed (cf. Clarence Odbody), poor Harold is threatened with life on Earth as a hotdog vendor if he doesn’t get Corinne set up with her dream guy. Very Old Testament God we’ve got on our hands here.

Corinne is obsessed with the past, and is convinced her grandparents’ courtship is the greatest love story of all time. Granted, the idea of her grandpa sending sheets of music from the trenches to his wife back home is pretty cute, but so implausible. “Hey guys, somebody take over this sniper? I need to go write out some music on this incredibly pristine and untouched-by-war paper.” The sentence which summarises a war which never happened. The last letter arrived with Corinne’s grandma on Christmas Eve, which is why Corinne loves the poem The Night Before Christmas. You remember that underlying current of lost love on the battlefield in that poem, yeah? “There came a clatter” is that clatter of a woman’s life falling about her, right?

Her fascination with things which are dead and gone continues in the form of pining over her cheating ex. It’s up to Harold to help Corinne’s co-worker/pal reveal his love, through suit shopping montages and giving expensive presents. Corinne’s nearly swayed by the cheating ex when he rocks up with two apology bouquets, but the co-worker’s glass ornament (NOT UNLIKE HER GRANDPARENTS’ ORNAMENT SYMMETRY SYMMETRY) really clinches the deal. It’s so refreshing to see a heroine who ascribes her love based on material goods, rather than all that emotional bollocks. I mean, they’re clearly a bit dim or easily impressed, because they don’t notice Harold is Corinne’s grandfather, and they’re won over by a song which once you hear it is actually very underwhelming (in layman’s terms: bum.)- much like the film.

Yeah, what a song you sang there, um...well you looked like you were having fun...
Yeah, what a song you sang there, um…well you looked like you were having fun…

Why is Corinne’s grandpa being held back from gaining his wings, anyway? Probably all those wartime atrocities when he wasn’t writing music.

Rating: Ho/Ho Ho Ho.