“Will you marry me”. Beautiful, isn’t it? Four little words which can lead to a life of support and trust with the one you love. Alternately, you could fudge it up and say “merry” instead of “marry” which would lead to a bad film. George Kringle decides he’d like to get merried when he’s out shopping on his six month anniversary for a present for Rebecca.

This worries me- the man’s gone from “get her a present on the day” to “spend the rest of my life with this woman”. Make up your mind, George- do you not give a shit, or do you give every shit imaginable? That said, Rebecca is similarly terrible as a person- the two met trying to nab a recently deceased woman’s apartment in New York, and then kissed after like three minutes of talking. Sure, get merried! Merriage isn’t hard or a big commitment!

The two start bringing their parents together for a joint Hanukkah and Christmas weekend. Are your “culture clash” senses tingling? So turn the culture clash-ometer up to 100, then break it, then you’ve got an idea of how awkward parts of this film were to watch. The combination Christmas tree/”Hanukkah bush” was pretty great, but why were there so many Jewish stereotypes? “Jews are high strung”, “Jews don’t hunt”- I’m pretty sure half of these stereotypes don’t even exist. Plus, in the words of Annie Edison, “say the whole word!”

Surprisingly enough though, I did find myself quite enjoying the conflict between the in-laws-to-be. Wendy Malick, playing Rebecca’s mother, was my favourite in the film for all the faces she kept pulling. It was like her bitchface was saying what we all wanted to say, right? Plus, she runs over a reindeer which is fairly hilarious in its cringeworthy nature. The one thing I couldn’t get past in the film was how annoying George and Rebecca were. For leads, they’re not likeable- Rebecca refuses to eat “anything which smiles”. Birds don’t smile, eat a chicken. George is equally not merriage material, by the fact that he’s oblivious to the little things. You know, like don’t kiss your ex? The little things.

"So hang on...I can only kiss her now? Aw man..."
“So hang on…I can only kiss my fiancée now? Aw man…”

At least we do learn one very valuable thing from this film, and that is the secret to merriage. The parents tell us that getting merried is “like getting into a warm bath. You just know.” Never mind how incredibly open-ended that piece of advice is. Merriage is just like getting into a warm bath: it’s better if you do so whilst naked, bubble bath always improves it, and you can always get out after half an hour. Thanks guys. Merried life sorted.

Rating: Ho Ho/Ho Ho Ho.

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