I tried, I did, to find a good angle to write this from but it’s so hard because Love at the Thanksgiving Parade is so generic it’s untrue. There were points where I wondered if I was still watching this film or 27 Dresses.

Emily (Autumn Reesner, who you bad film buffs might know from Nature of the Beast) is an enthusiastic Thanksgiving parade planner type- one of the three careers rom-com heroines can have, and a nice break from all those pretty twenty-something journalists which America’s saturated with. Emily learns Spanish and supports her local schools and wears vintage clothing because she’s almost insufferably nice- and loves anything with a smidgen of sentimental value.

Enter parade auditor, Playboy McLotsa-Money. Personalities clash from the off when Playboy buys out an old bookstore, which Emily’s of course furious about because it’s old and she loves old things. How on earth are these two gonna work together am I right??? What with her seeing good in everyone and him needing somebody to play chess with.

The only thing definitely in the way of their inevitable getting together is Emily’s long-distance boyfriend Brian. Brian’s going to “pop the big question” soon, although what with his constant talking about/watching/writing about/studying whales, something tells me he’s not thinking of a big on-land commitment. Also, talk about making no effort- when he’s with her he barely wears a clean shirt. Meanwhile Emily’s decked out like a knock-off from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Brunch at Swarovski's
Brunch at Swarovski’s

Emotions run quick in this film. Within a day of ditching Brian, Emily’s convinced she’s a spinster for life- chill out, Emily! Remember the title of the film, you’ll be just fine! Still, nothing is as quick as the turnaround of McLotsa-Money’s character. It’s like the writers had a checklist of every nice thing a guy could do: in the same morning Emily learns he’s ended his playboy lifestyle, given money to orphans, been revealed as an orphan himself AND volunteered as a last minute parade Santa replacement. There’s a deleted scene where he also ends all wars and makes the world’s biggest pizza from scratch.

I’ll tell you one thing about Emily: for a woman who spends an hour and a half talking about how perfect the parade should be, doesn’t stop her from pulling Santa’s beard off so they can make out. Sorry, kids! Thanksgiving only needs to be perfect for one person at a time, try again next year.

Rating: Ho Ho/Ho Ho Ho

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