I cannot get over how good Demand 5’s summaries are for these films, mad props to whoever gets paid to write them. “A woman travels back in time to fix her relationship”? SOLD.

Though this whole time-travel element is played down COMPLETELY, I started to wonder if everyone just has magical time-transport powers and I’m weird for making a deal of it. Apparently it’s just regular for you to pop up in the past, courtesy of the actress who played Jan in the Brady Bunch movie.

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I had to.

Ali is sent back a year to Christmas Eve so she can still salvage her relationship with ex, Cam, and prevent rolling around in the muck and spending Christmas with her boss who keeps joking about groping/leaving his wife for her. “I’m kidding,” is a magical slate that just takes away harassment lawsuits in their workplace, I guess.

Ali’s friend in the present day invites her to a hot tub party, but Ali probably can’t hear her friend’s super high-pitched bat voice so she doesn’t understand. For the best, really- it’s just the friend and her partner in attendance. Being a third wheel is bad enough but something tells me being the third wheel in a hot tub is infinitely worse.

Besides, Ali’s after true love with a man who doesn’t want kids because he prefers his “hand-woven eggshell rug”. I know, I’m questioning Ali’s taste too.

Or maybe it’s Ali’s mum Robin who set up this match? She controls her daughter’s life worse than Claudette from The Room, so naturally Robin is my favourite terrible character.

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She’s digging that Claudette hairstyle.

Ali decides to follow her heart eventually and heads into the sunset with high-school buddy Nick. Nick is a… I wanna say carpenter- regardless, he also designs Christmas light displays. That considered, the scene where we see one of his displays is super underwhelming. It’s so dimly lit, which goes against theĀ one requirement of a lighting display, but I guess we know Ali isn’t getting with him for his sweet lighting design money.

Quickly, I want to talk about the film’s ending. Ali makes her choice, wakes up in the present day and Nick comes in! He’s talking about how she left her wedding ring on the kitchen counter and jokes that he can’t have other men flirting with her (file under: wow Nick Jonas get over it). So…Ali can’t remember this past year of dating/getting engaged/getting married. Is that not, I dunno, a bit HEARTBREAKING AND TERRIFYING?

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This is their first kiss as far as she’s concerned. Let that sink in.

There’s a pretty strong cast in Back to Christmas so you need to listen out for the script’s odd gems. Robin warns her husband not to “make up time like you normally do, ignoring pedestrians”. That possible past manslaughter just lingers over the film. Maybe that’s why Ali’s dad garbles everything so hurriedly?

Also, I was only joking in a parody play I wrote last year about ghosts having to take a second job, but since I’ve seen the remarks about ghosts not being paid well on both Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and in Back to Christmas. Great minds, why Hallmark haven’t contacted me yet is a mystery.

Rating: Ho Ho/Ho Ho Ho.

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