No prizes for guessing what this film might entail: three sisters face weddings, babies and apparently Christmas (though blink and you’ll miss that last one).
“Are you almost here?” Andrea, decked out in her wedding dress, asks her older sister Lori over the phone. “I’m pregnant, remember?” Lori retorts. She is stood by a lake. I’d forgotten that pregnant women can’t leave the lakeside during their third trimester.
Strap in for plenty more pointless conversations like this, guys!
The sisters are preparing for Andrea’s wedding to her mystery groom, who we never see because he’s not in town yet? Her wedding photographer is her old flame so feathers are ruffled to say the least! To say more, they totally have sex. Meanwhile, other sister Charlie is contemplating dumping her long term partner whilst he thinks she’s having an affair. Laugh a minute, this.
Parts of the script can seem pretty astute, such as a legitimately great sequence where Charlie shuts down her co-workers for assuming as a mother she will want to quit her job. Then we crash back down to earth where Andrea’s ex is describing their relationship as “Chris and Rihanna”. Totally healthy couple, he definitely was not a scumbag, what a great pitch you’ve delivered for yourself.
To be fair, these guys totally deserve one another because they are terrible people- heading to make-out point to “sober up”? Nice try, kids. Except…not a nice try. Terrible try. At least they feel like real people, which is more than I can say for the film’s matriarch- a character whose writing treatment must’ve been “panto villain smother”. That’s not to mention her reason for dating a younger man. “Orgasms are good for the heart”. Vom.
This film could be so much better than it is- and so much more Christmas. Do you guys remember when this was going to be a Christmas film? Cast your minds back real far. There’s also this character in it called TAD? Who has terrible Photoshopped posters for his rock show everywhere but then I think at the end it was implied that he is in fact a real musician and I’m not sure what’s real anymore. He’s a real TAD ex machina because he resolves everything.
Why wasn’t TAD around to finish this film an hour ago.