I see you, Susan, using that old trick from year nine where you type in a bigger font so it looks like you’ve written more than you have. Classic move.

Susan is writing a Christmas piece about a big wooden angel tree topper which she doesn’t care about because Susan doesn’t like Christmas/fun in general. She is however a fan of super unnatural dialogue (“same back at you, new vice president of the marketing division”) and writing- although looking at her grammar, she could really do with a Spellcheck every five minutes. Why so many misplaced commas, Susan?

The angel began its story as a gift from Susan’s great grandfather to a famous actress at the beginning of the 20th century. You know, that era when they invented the sepia¬†effect on Paint for old timey photos on theatre programmes.

oil-painting
THE PAST

The angel seems to hold voodoo powers as it keeps diverting Susan away from our New Vice President of the Marketing Division (exactly the type of boring suit Susan would love) and into the arms of artist Brady. We know Brady’s an artist because he’s at a gallery opening with paint all over his shirt and face and artists never use a damn Wet One.

The flashback sequences following Susan’s great grandpa (who by the way is pretty fine) would be the more interesting plot line if the writers knew what casual conversation should be. I’ve provided examples of some top quality exchanges:

  • “Thank you for the flowers, they’re gorgeous.”
    “My sentiments exactly.”
  • “That can’t be real!”
    “It’s as real as the Santas on her scarf.” (so…not real)

The ending is really something. After dithering around a commitment, Susan and Brody end up together at his great grandma’s wooden cabin- the same log cabin which Susan’s great grandfather built for the actress…

Angel of Christmas Final Photo Assets
Ho ho hold up there.

I know! They might be related?? That’s literally a plot point I wrote into a parody of seasonal movies last year!

Turns out not related after all, so they bone like their ancestors never could.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo.

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