This film was made just 4 years ago, a fact which I can’t get my head around by how hideously grainy the video quality is. The VHS-style technique plus the protagonist’s mum’s hairstyle are very ’80s. Naturally I’m going into this film with very little trust.

To explain A Christmas Wedding Date… do you remember Groundhog Day? The good people behind A Christmas Wedding Date sure hope you don’t! Because it is a total rip-off. This time, the day that’s repeated is Christmas Eve, AKA the wedding date of Rebecca’s best pal Allison (Pallison). You know my opinions on Christmas Eve weddings.

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You can tell the dad from Wizards of Waverley Place agrees with me that it’s a needless way to tire yourself out.

How it took 4 writers to make Christmas Groundhog Day is beyond me- especially when nobody in this film acts like a regular human. Rebecca’s old room at her mom’s is filled with photos of her ex, Chad, which is definitely a weird one. Not like a prom shot of the two of them- just him. Is that not a bit of a culty thing to do even whilst they were dating?

Also, when Rebecca’s mum asks her about her life, Rebecca responds with “why do you care?” I dunno, Rebecca, maybe because your mum pushed you out of her and she’s taking an interest and doesn’t need your garbage person reply!

Other things that happen in this film and make me wonder if the writers were all robots:

  • exes singing a song as they greet each other
  • bitchy bridesmaid Molly requesting a make-out sesh from Chad a propos of nothing and then going for it without getting a reply from him
  • Chad remembering how long it’s been since he and Rebecca broke up- to the day, though. That’s fast math, and creepy too.
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  • The fact that Pallison booked a keyboard demo track to play at her wedding
  • Rebecca does so much in the morning of the wedding day- we’re talking going for lunch, buying a sports car, then rocking up to the ceremony. No! This doesn’t happen! You need valuable time to practise using your heels!
  • a cooking session begins “starting with butter”. I hope Rebecca knows about butter already
  • NOBODY PROPOSES TO SOMEBODY AFTER NOT SEEING/TALKING TO THEM FOR FOUR YEARS AND THEN HANGING OUT FOR ONE DAY
  • NOBODY SAYS YES TO THAT PROPOSAL

These would all be qualifiers for the coveted HoHoHo if it weren’t for the fact that the Groundhog premise is a painfully dull one when recreated. A taxi transforming into a shooting star and slide transitioning into the sky is all well and good, but ninety minutes in? Like JoJo once said, you know it’s just too little too late.

Rating: HoHo/HoHoHo.

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