This has to be one of my all-time favourite bad films, a total pick me up for if you’re feeling bad-crappy and need something good-crappy. How do you know a film is the one? When it opens on teenagers in the ’80s complaining about boys not wanting to have sex, to the soundtrack of the All I Want for Christmas rip-off song, “Santa Bring a Boyfriend to Me”.

DING DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER!

After accompanying a random little girl to see Santa, Holly lets slip to the big guy that she wants a boyfriend and nothing else. (Sidenote: why do teenage girls have so little dreams in films? I was talking to my teenage sister the other week and she scoffed at my interest in boys at her age and I was like “well damn, she’s got my number.” How come we don’t have films about these sarcastic teens, how come.)

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“Please Santa, I just want somebody to sex. Is that the phrase? To sex?”

Quite rightly Santa says she should maybe hold off and focus on school/aspirations, although he goes a bit overboard with his magic snowglobe that says she’ll only find love after she turns 30. Dick move, Santa. How’s she going to find the One?

Oh, he’s on her doorstep on Christmas morning. That was easy.

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I mean at least make an effort to hide somewhere.

Naturally Holly thinks it is a joke, has a good laugh, then carts him off to her parents’ house to masquerade as her longterm boyfriend and has him lie about being a volunteer fireman. That’s…normal.

This is one of the first instances I ever found of the fake fiance trope and in my opinion is the most successful in its pay-off and range of ludicrous side characters. It helps that there are legit pretty good actors in this cast, giving the stupid plot and script genuine attention and care. Actual effort and faith in the film!

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Like they’re not just using their resting faces inbetween lines!

There’s a strong need to tie everything in Holly’s life together which is why we’re treated to overenthusiastic exes and a “X was Y the whole time!” that you can see coming a mile off. Damnit though, A Boyfriend for Christmas just has that charm which other Christmas films lack. Call it nostalgia from my early days watching Channel 5 idly in the break from uni, but it’s impossible not to have fun watching this film with good friends and good snacks. Merry Christmas to ya.

Rating: HoHoHo/HoHoHo. 

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