Jules is the primary caregiver of her nephew and niece, Milo and Maddie. Naturally the two are off the rails for no good reason (well I mean, totally good reason. They’re orphans. I’ve watched enough Tracy Beaker to know there’s a correlation) and send their overacting nanny running for the hills. Also Jules has just been fired because she’s not allowed good things.
Suddenly a man who looks like Adrian Brody rocks up and tells the kids that their paternal grandfather is not only a secret Duke, but Roger Moore (!!!) so off they go to Europia or whatever fictional sovereign state it is.
It’s a massive shocker that Roger Moore is actually pretty decent in this film! After ten minutes of token grumpy grandpa, “I don’t want you here even though I invited you” sulking, he whips out more charm here than in any of his James Bond outings. .
Don’t worry: like Moore’s Bond films, there are plenty of enjoyably cringeworthy moments here too. Why oh why is there a sequence where Jules teaches her brother-in-law’s brother (it’s okay, Emma did the groundwork and a romance between them is not incest. Just) to street dance. She learned it from a class which if you ask me is ripping Jules off because ohhh it’s so lame!
Of course there’s a posh bitch in the way of Jules and Ashton. Whatsherface the Third is humourless, snobbish, and doesn’t recognise the right antique plate so she is OUTTA THERE! She calls the RnB dance soundtrack “ghetto music”.
Not to dwell on this dance sequence for too long (though it’s burned on my retinas) but the lyrics: “I could toss you off all night/But right now I just wanna dance with you.” Excellent lyrics! Perfect for this family film!
It’s a stone’s throw from the old school fairytales- instead of mice and birds, Jules’ dress is supplied by the household servants. Maddie also excitedly points out fellow orphans which is…adorable? Bleak? You decide!
It’s fun, though if you’ve already seen A Royal Christmas I’d give it a miss because they are almost identical films, even down to the small village in the kingdom.