The Carpenter’s Miracle (2013, dir. Kristoffer Tabori)

Hang on, isn’t this director familiar? This film doesn’t have any massive engagement rings being used for rope swings/regular rings swung on by tiny people, more’s the pity. Instead there’s a good ten minutes of a man carrying a drowned boy from a lake. So, um, definite change in tone.

Hop (2011, dir. Tim Hill)

“The first human Easter Bunny. Sounds crazy, I hear you say.” Nope, didn’t say that. I mean, I does sound like a pretty dodgy premise for a film… It just wants to make you scoop up James Marsden and pop him in a better movie where he’ll be safe from Rotten Tomatoes ratings.

A Ring by Spring (2014, dir. Kristoffer Tabori)

Not gonna lie, guys and gals: this film has nothing to do with Easter. It’s about Spring though, and that’s close enough for me- especially with a poster like ^^^THAT ONE^^^. Who approved that?

Malibu Spring Break (2003, dir. Kevin Lewis)

In England, Easter holidays mean young people going home to visit their family, swapping some chocolate eggs and watching whatever Pixar film is on the bank holiday TV listings. In America, Easter holidays are Spring Break, which means young people going to a random beach, forgetting what clothes are and doing somebody who is dressed as a sexy version of a Pixar film. Sorry if that’s wrong, Americans, but that’s what Malibu Spring Break teaches me, and if there’s one thing I can trust it’s shit films.

The Dog Who Saved Easter (2014, dir. Sean Olsen)

A little research told me that Olsen’s film is the third in a dog-saving-holiday franchise, following The Dog Who Saved Christmas, and The Dog Who Saved Christmas Again. It’s always nice to know that the film you’re watching is crap, but comes from a long line of crap.