Christmas Do-Over (2006, dir. Catherine Cyran)

Don’t let protagonist Kevin conjure up comparisons with Home Alone. Kevin McAllister learns to appreciate his loved ones; this Kevin learns to cheat his. He’s an out-and-out wrong’un, the kind of guy who buys gifts last minute whilst grabbing store employees roughly. He’s also got a kindof Logan Paul, arrested development look which is not endearing me.

Don’t give me that look, I’m right.

SOMEHOW, GOODNESS KNOWS WHY, he is divorced.

Kevin’s whistle-stop visit at his in-laws (to gift cute as a button son Ben whatever crap he picked up) is extended by, and I quote, “big boulder blocked the only road out of town”. Time to watch ex-wife Jill’s new boyfriend Todd wow everybody and propose to Jill.

This really is where the film should end for Jill, with her second chance at love. Unfortunately Ben has wished that it can be Christmas every day (cute, stupid Ben) so Kevin uses this to his advantage. How? By gaslighting Jill and stealing Todd’s plans to woo her, of course!

I know I’m only meant to be commenting on whether this is enjoyably crap. Yes, it is. There’s a Christmas Day fete (I’m only telling you what I saw, people) where you can find:

-Jill’s dad dressed up as peas
-The adult Jesus (who was at the Nativity?) beating up Kevin
-The Virgin Mary, also whaling on Kevin
-A friendly gingerbread gimp

Please tell me you can see him too.

All this, and the joy that is Jill’s grandma- a woman who says her favourite parts of Christmas are “booze and making out”. She once shaved her pubes into the shape of a heart, apparently! She steals knitting from bingo halls!

So yes, it ticks the boxes. I just hate it because Kevin is so unpleasant to watch. There’s no Groundhog Day-esque realisation that your actions have consequences, just a lack of remorse and a Machiavellian need to serve the self. He’s the walking embodiment of masculine inadequacy given endless chances to improve, he doesn’t, and he still “gets the girl”.

Also, Jill says if she could relive one day over and over, it would be Ben’s birth? Parents, please regale me: would you want to experience child-birth every day? Am I wrong for thinking this is one of the worst days you could pick to live in perpetuity? Answers on the back of a postcard please.

Rating: Ho and a half/HoHoHo