Santa Who? has one of my favourite opening sequences in all seasonal moviedom. Let me try to set the scene for you.
I hate it when a film preferences dull if competent romance over presposterous dialogue and wooden leads.
This film was made just 4 years ago, a fact which I can’t get my head around by how hideously grainy the video quality is. The VHS-style technique plus the protagonist’s mum’s hairstyle are very ’80s. Naturally I’m going into this film with very little trust.
I see you, Susan, using that old trick from year nine where you type in a bigger font so it looks like you’ve written more than you have. Classic move.
No prizes for guessing what this film might entail: three sisters face weddings, babies and apparently Christmas (though blink and you’ll miss that last one).
Oh check it, it’s another film about alternate realities where career driven women find out what it’d be like if they’d married their high school sweetheart! Is the answer ever not “really well, undo the last ten years of career advancement”? Sure isn’t!
Why are so many people in films getting married at Christmas? Is December not a stressful enough month for you without simultaneously planning stocking fillers and salmon fillets? But Katie ignores that blindly as she cried, “clear your calendars for Christmas Eve because you’re going to a Christmas wedding!” What? No! You’ve just told us on Thanksgiving, I got stuff to do in 3 weeks’ time!
Talk about an identity crisis- less than a minute into Holiday Help a title screen tells me it’s actually called Santa’s Secret. Make up your minds, lads.