A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Bulldog for Christmas (2013, dir. Henrique Couto)

It’s not often you come across a film that’s written, directed, shot and edited by the same person- even less when that same person casts themselves as a mischievous (and… British?) elf named “CHIPS!”.

EVEN LESS OFTEN when you find out the film was funded on INDIEGOGO because after making several horror movies Chips fancied his hand at a Christmas flick. These are beautiful signs that the DVD that’s fallen into my lap is to be treasured. Do you believe in fate?

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Guest Post: A Star for Christmas (2012, dir. Michael Feifer)

It’s a bloody honour to not have to watch this turd of a film: today’s review has been written by Marcus Crabb, a brilliantly hilarious dude and my comedy grandson. You can follow him @MarcusOfCrabbs or his wonderful drag persona Kate Butch @katebutch1 (the latter will lead you down a rabbit hole to Haus of Dench, one of the best drag houses going. ANYWAY, enjoy the review, the review is why we’re here.)

It’s a sad thing when the deliberately bad Christmas film inside the intentionally good Christmas film is better than the intentionally good Christmas film. Such is the case with The Last Christmas Carol, the action thriller that is the centre piece of A Star For Christmas, during which I genuinely threw up in my mouth.

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