Everything You Want/Love Surreal (2005, dir. Ryan Little)

Happy Thanksgiving, US readers! It turns out writing a week’s worth of film reviews for the holiday like I did last year really diminishes the limited supply of Thanksgiving films… So scraping the barrel, here’s mid-00s -tastic teen rom-com Everything You Want!

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The Thanksgiving Promise (1986, dir. Beau Bridges)

No, this film isn’t about any promises of unity and sharing between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. It’s about a boy who loves something and then it’s taken away from him by a man in a big hat- much like the actual first Thanksgiving. Yeah? That’s Thanksgiving? It’s fun being British sometimes, we just get to fill in the blanks on American history. Soz if this is no representation of actual Thanksgiving.

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An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving (2008, dir. Graeme Campbell)

Eldest child Tilly wants her poverty-stricken family to have a prosperous Thanksgiving- how? By lying to an estranged relative, of course! You too can do this: just say your dad’s been kidnapped by gypsies (why she didn’t just say her dad was dead- y’know, the actual true case- is beyond me) and some other untruths to make your letter the 18th-century equivalent of those emails you get from Nigerian princes who are down on their luck.

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Holidaze (2013, dir. Jerry Ciccoritti)

As Mark Twain once said, “don’t quote me in any shitty films, okay?” I mean, he clearly didn’t, but the way Holidaze invents a life story for him I wanted to jump on the bandwagon and attribute random shit to him too. After all, it’s Twain’s words which Mel uses in her big business pitch, so her company Save More can open a branch in her hometown of Streetsville. Fair enough, slapping a famous writer over your words probably does distract from the sheer laziness of the writers in coming up with a town name. Seriously? Streetsville? You honestly thought people would-oh. Oh okay, I’ve just been informed that Streetsville is the name of a town in Canada. I’m sorry, guys. No judgement, sure it’s lovely.

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