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An [insert here] for Halloween!

Your go-to for the creepy and the crappy.

Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999, dir. Kenneth Johnson)

I’ll be honest guys: I didn’t finish watching Don’t Look Under the Bed. I made it halfway through and thought, this is enough. I’ve looked under the bed and there’s just no reason to continuing the film hiding under there.

Continue reading “Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999, dir. Kenneth Johnson)”

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All Hallows Eve (2016, dir. Charlie Vaughn)

“Are you watching a crap film again?”
“Yep, it’s called All Hallows Eve and the protagonist is called Eve Hallows
“Oh God.”

Welcome back everyone. Join me if you dare as we embark once more on the best and worst of Halloween flicks…

Continue reading “All Hallows Eve (2016, dir. Charlie Vaughn)”

Santa’s Little Helper (2015, dir. Gil Junger)

You know you’re in too deep in the world of crap seasonal movies when you find yourself A) watching your third film starring Mike “the Miz” Mizanin, and B) considering that the Miz’s acting has really improved a lot since Christmas Bounty. I’m just making myself cosy down the rabbit hole.

Continue reading “Santa’s Little Helper (2015, dir. Gil Junger)”

A Princess for Christmas (2011, dir. Michael Damian)

Yay, yet another story about an American who encounters an obscure royal family unexpectedly! Again!

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Santa Who? (2000, dir. William Dear)

Santa Who? has one of my favourite opening sequences in all seasonal moviedom. Let me try to set the scene for you.

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The Christmas Shepherd (2014, dir. Terry Ingram)

I hate it when a film preferences dull if competent romance over presposterous dialogue and wooden leads.

Continue reading “The Christmas Shepherd (2014, dir. Terry Ingram)”

A Boyfriend for Christmas (2004, dir. Kevin Connor)

This has to be one of my all-time favourite bad films, a total pick me up for if you’re feeling bad-crappy and need something good-crappy. How do you know a film is the one? When it opens on teenagers in the ’80s complaining about boys not wanting to have sex, to the soundtrack of the All I Want for Christmas rip-off song, “Santa Bring a Boyfriend to Me”.

DING DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER!

Continue reading “A Boyfriend for Christmas (2004, dir. Kevin Connor)”

A Christmas Wedding Date (2002, dir. Fred Olen Ray)

This film was made just 4 years ago, a fact which I can’t get my head around by how hideously grainy the video quality is. The VHS-style technique plus the protagonist’s mum’s hairstyle are very ’80s. Naturally I’m going into this film with very little trust.

Continue reading “A Christmas Wedding Date (2002, dir. Fred Olen Ray)”

The Perfect Holiday (2007, dir. Lance Rivera)

Your classic romance: a single mum, a mall Santa pretending to be a travelling salesman (like that’s cooler?), a rapper ex- and all watched over by mystical Queen Latifah.

Continue reading “The Perfect Holiday (2007, dir. Lance Rivera)”

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