What can I say? A mad horny cast of thirty-year-old twenty-somethings, including Jonathan Bennett AKA the love interest from A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale not Tail AKA Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls? This film really is something. Not something good, but something!
Aspiring fashion designer Georgia heads home for Christmas, escaping a series of curtains she hides behind at catwalk events. It’s a living? For some reason, her 10-year school reunion had completely passed her by until her mum (played by Vivian from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, in case like me you’re thinking, “is she a Real Housewife?”) convinces her.
Lifetime really does not mess around with subtle characterisation, oh no. Georgia meets her plastic-faced old flame Craig, obviously in-love-with-her best mate Ben, and the glee club who have a far more integral role than any of us could hope for and are like the Plastics. I know! The glee team are popular in the universe of this film! This is a world where Georgia can be “lead cheerleader and head of the glee debate club”. I wish there was a showcase of glee debate.
We do however get the horrifying ordeal of glee performance. Georgia et al step out in flimsy robes for a rendition of It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, the bass drops (??) as do the robes to reveal…like, sex nighties? Do you know which I mean? It’s a slutty carol? It’s a slutty carol that they performed in high school?
The horniness continues, with one of Georgia’s glee girls ferociously hitting on their old principal. The film has bedecked him in bowties so we know what a hilariously terrible thing it would be to fancy him, not to mention her “I’m totally legal” line. Yikes! Have I convinced you to watch this yet? It’s very good in a trashy, order in a pizza on a Friday night, lazy kind of way. The back half an hour falls flat, though, so maybe grab some online viewing companions to talk over it with.
Rating: HoHo/HoHoHo
An [insert here] for Christmas! 
Leave a comment