Holiday High School Reunion/Christmas Crush (2011, dir. Marita Grabiak)

What can I say? A mad horny cast of thirty-year-old twenty-somethings, including Jonathan Bennett AKA the love interest from A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale not Tail AKA Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls? This film really is something. Not something good, but something!

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (2015, dir. Letia Clouston)

Similar to Baby in a Manger, I’m baffled that this film is not called A Dogwalker’s Christmas TAIL. Just who are they hiring over there?

Snowmance (2017, dir. Douglas Mitchell)

This film is the height of escapism- not because Sarah’s “dream man” snowman comes to life, but because in the world of Snowmance, print media is alive and well to the extent that you can make a good living off regional journalism! Penniless artists live in beautiful modern-build flats, without five flatmates! If I describe my perfect house, can the magical snow of Minneapolis bring that to life too?

My Christmas Love (2016, dir. Jeff Fisher)

I was so underwhelmed by A Gift-Wrapped Christmas but something any Search Party fan could tell you is how watchable Meredith Hagner is, hence her second chance at a seasonal lead. Rather than playing a personal shopper with incredible insight into people’s characters, here Hagner plays a children’s author with incredible insight into people’s characters. The range!

The Knight Before Christmas (2019, dir. Monika Mitchell)

This wily film popped up on Netflix between The Princess Switch (2018) and The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020), tricking plenty of innocent fans of Vanessa Hudgens-fronted Christmas flicks. Be warned, this is not of the same calibre. For more of the good stuff, why not check out my video on the duo of Princess Switch films?

Look, I spent far too long badly editing it, I’m not going to not plug it.

Christmas with a Prince (2018, dir. Justin G Dyck)

You’ll have seen Netflix’ Christmas Prince, and if you like me hunt out bad films like a pig with truffles (oink oink), you’ll be lucky enough to have seen My Christmas Prince. But have you seen Christmas with a Prince?

A Very Nutty Christmas (2018, dir. Colin Theys)

A Very Nutty Christmas has one of those fish out of water premises that always offers promise at this time of year. A nutcracker solider come to life after he’s bestowed on Melissa Joan Hart of all people by a kindly is magical old German man? Ja bitte!

An Accidental Christmas (2007, dir. Peter Stewart)

We open on a photo of a couple, laughing at a beach resort- BUT it’s in a book entitled Memories so we know these halcyon days are long gone. Welcome to An Accidental Christmas, and the memories of separated couple Victoria and Jason. Victoria is an architect who is always hard at work drawing or pointing at blueprints. Jason is a lawyer and I promise you, you will want to divorce him too.

A Gingerbread Romance (2018, dir. Richard Gabai)

The eternal question: does Hallmark know that black people exist? A Gingerbread Romance says yes! but only in cinematic segregation!

Girlfriends of Christmas Past (2016, dir. Jake Felgren)

If you were ever watching John Tucker Must Die and you thought to yourself, hmm…could use more Jenna from Pretty Little Liars, then maybe you were Girlfriends of Christmas Past director, producer and screenwriter Jake Helgren.

Why’d you think that, Jake?