I don’t want to lie to you so I’ll be brief: this film is pretty garbage. There’s a lot of potential here, but shoddy filming and a seeming lack of editor really grind the action to a slow and painful halt.
Norbert, his wife Carol from Friends, and their kids move to Long Island where Norbert plans to work on his book- “a study in pluralistic ignorance”. This involves riling aggressively festive neighbour Donnie into a decorating competition that sparks a riot, all so Norbert can get Christmas banned. What a fun bloke.
Hang on now, don’t forget the five subplots:
-Norbert’s son has a crush on Donnie’s daughter
-Norbert has told Donnie that his son has brain damage (he uses the R word with impunity, folks)
-Fellow neighbour Cleveland constructs a wire and wood heart on his lawn and experiences a spiritual revelation
-Yet another neighbour, Humper (HUMPER) and his ridiculously hot wife have multiple daughters (Humper by name) and they’re all coming to stay! (I don’t see what the conflict is here, to be honest)
-Carol from Friends is realising that Norbert is just awful
We’ve got fuzzy audio whenever the character raise their voices, baffling dialogue (“we met on a Jessica Simpson chatroom” in 2006?), and the confusing element of actors playing Donnie and Humper (I can’t get over the fact that he’s called Humper) look nigh-on identical. Again, it’s all potential- and it’s all squandered by how interminably long the running time is.
Alright, in the film’s defence the final ten minutes are a treat. Post-riot, Norbert gifts Donnie’s daughter a whittled gift (all the rage in the Jessica Simpson chatroom) but is cuffed by cops for Christmas activity. “You’re under arrest, kids”. Why oh why isn’t the rest of the film this off-the-wall absurd?
Rating: Ho/HoHoHo
An [insert here] for Christmas! 
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